Nintendo’s press conference just wrapped up. It was just terrible. How terrible? I’ll break it down in a few easy-to-digest paragraphs and even boldify all the important bits.

First, Cammie Dunnaway came on stage and regaled us with her life story and how she went snowboarding once, which was an excellent segway for the introduction of Shaun White Snowboarding, which uses the Wii Balance Board. It looks like a generic snowboarding game and should be completely overlookable.

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Pay very close attention to what I’m about to tell you, because this very blog post could make you famous. Really famous…

Telltale Games developers of Strong Bad’s Cool Game for Attractive People are having a weekend contest where users submit tag lines for the fictional game Snake Boxer 5, which plays a significant role in the first episode. The winner’s name will appear somewhere in the episode. Telltale isn’t telling anyone where the name will show up though. It’s a secret!

For more information about the contest and how to enter, check out Telltale’s Contest Blog Post. Be sure to hurry! The contest only lasts until Tuesday, 9 AM Pacific Time. Strong Bad’s Cool Game for Attractive People Episode One is planned for release in June 2008 on WiiWare and PC.

[Picture and story via Telltale Games]

The vague release date for the Xbox 360 version of Unreal Tournament 3, which has been on the PS3 and PC since 2007 (with decent reviews) was announced recently as “Summer 2008.” There will also be some Xbox 360 exclusive content: two new characters, five new maps, split screen, and according to Mark Rein’s hints, “something Gears of War 2 related.” Five screenshots of the Xbox 360 version were released as well - so continue on for those (one of which would make a nice desktop background) along with the full press release, filled, as usual, with generic self-fellating quotes.

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The gist of it: Coming out on June 22, it’s the special edition, $170, comes with the drums, mic, and a wireless guitar. Unfortunately, no DLC has been announced yet, which really blows, yo. Looks like Nintendo fans are finally going to be able to get a chance to play one of the best games of 2007 though. Hopefully the GHIII guitar will be compatible, eh? Hit the jump for the full press thingie.

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In my other life (read: real job), I’m a film critic and as a professional film critic I have to tell you that the new Street Fighter Movie coming out sometime in 2009 will most likely suck. As bad as the first one? No, but it’ll be pretty damn bad. I say this because the casting information for the film was just released and I just want to say before you get angry at any casting choice you don’t like… just remember that they could have cast the best actors in the world to play these roles and the movie would most likely still suck.

That being said the casting doesn’t seem too terrible. Michael Clarke Duncan as Balrog seems a decent choice and while Kristen Kruek isn’t really Asian and doesn’t have monster thighs, she does have breasts so that kind of qualifies her to play Chun-Li. Look at that, Taboo, from the Black Eyed Peas is going to be playing Vega. That could be nice…oh, who am I kidding. None of this sounds very good except for Duncan being a big black guy. I guess Charlie Nash as Chris Klein works OK. At least it can’t get wor…Neal McDonough as M. Bison?! Screw you Hollywood, screw you to hell. Here I am not listening to my own advice.

Hit the jump for the press release.

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Nintendo has just sent word that their epic Wii fighter, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, sold 874,000 copies on launch day (March 9th) and 1.4 million units total since then in the United States alone. Apparently, this averages out to around 120 copies being sold per minute as of March 16th and it’s the fastest selling game in Nintendo’s history.

Of course this is to be expected, because it’s a really f*cking great game. This just goes to show that Nintendo should be focusing on creating more hardcore games like Brawl, instead of turning the Wii into an exercise machine. Still, I do have a strange feeling that Wii Fit is going to sell a ridiculous amount of units. I hope I’m wrong.

Full press release after the jump.

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SouthPeak Interactive, infamously known for releasing next-gen titles such as Monster Madness and Two Worlds, is trying their hand at the DS with their upcoming game Mister Slime. Slime is a side scrolling action-adventure game that makes use of the touch screen for players to swing the title character through each stage. Personally I hope SouthPeak can buck their trend of making mediocre titles and deliver a solid, old school, 2D gaming experience when Mister Slime is released in April. Full press release and screenshots after the jump.

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Ecko Entertainment, best known to the gaming industry for its very ironic game Marc Eckō’s Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure–wherein you play as a dude that’s trying to stand up against big corporations (unlike the clothing company that Eckō himself has created, of course)–announced today that they’ll be making a game based off of last year’s surprise hit Dexter. So long as he still has a witty observational monologue, I’m cool with it. Hit the jump for the full press release, yo.
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We have just received a press release promoting the teaser website for the impressive looking Section 8, which is slated for a 2009 release. It seems that the crew at Gamecock Media has been extremely busy this year, what with the announcements for Velvet Assassin and Hail to the Chimp. Today appears to be business as usual. I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I think it might have something to do with the EIEIO event coming up this week.

Created by TimeGate Studios, the same guys behind one of my favorite ‘brown trouser’ (read that as scary) games F.E.A.R. and its sequels, this first-person shooter is set in the distant future and the protagonist(s) are members of a squad of orbital drop troops otherwise know as Section 8. I’m excited for this game, just for the fact that it looks almost like a mixture of Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter and Heinlein’s Starship Troopers (the book, never the movie!). The teaser video and the full press release after the jump.

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Gamecock Media announced in a press release on February 29th, that the upcoming game from Replay Studios that was under the working title Sabotage has been renamed to Velvet Assassin. The game is based upon the real life hero of WWII Violette Szabo, who was instrumental in reorganizing the French resistance against German occupation. Read the full press release after the jump.

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Yes, yet another announcement from our dear friends, Sony. Following the previous three announcements, Sony also announced today that along with the release of Metal Gear Solid 4, they will be releasing a PS3 bundle including an 80GB PS3, a copy of Metal Gear Solid 4, and a DualShock 3 controller all for the price of $499. All of this will be coming in the latter half of the second quarter this year. If you haven’t had the chance to purchase a Playstation 3 yet, this would be a good opportunity to do so.

Alright, I’m officially done posting new Sony news for the day. I don’t even want to hear the word Sony for the next few days. I’m now very grouchy. So, leave me alone ya wankers!

I think we should all mark February 26th down as the official Sony day. In addition to the two previous announcements made today, Sony has announced that they will be releasing a limited edition God of War PSP entertainment bundle in June of this year. The bundle will include a limited edition “Deep Red” PSP (ooh, shiny!) with the hero of God of War, Kratos, etched into the back, along with a copy of the game God of War: Chains of Olympus, the smash-hit comedy Superbad on UMD, and a voucher to download a copy of the Playstation One game, Syphon Filter: Combat Ops, from the Playstation Store.

All of this for a mere $199.99. Get your checkbooks out, ladies and gentlemen. This is a deal not worth skipping.

[Edit: Another pic courtesy of our friends at Kotaku after the jump.]

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In addition to Sony’s recent vague announcement of a release date for Metal Gear Solid 4, the company has also dated and priced their upcoming DualShock 3 controller for the Playstation 3. The controller, which features rumble (a feature left out in the creation of the Sixaxis), is set to drop for $54.99 in April of 2008. That’s right PS3 owners! Only another two or so months to wait until we can finally kill terrorists with added rumble!

Following the announcement that Phil Harrison is resigning from Sony Computer Entertainment, Sony has finally named a vague release date for their upcoming killer app, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. The game is set to drop in late Q2 2008, with a special bonus to those who pre-order it, a guaranteed entrance into the multiplayer beta for Metal Gear Online, scheduled for April.

Wow, I am so ready for this!

Needless to say, Two Worlds doesn’t have a whole lot going for it. Being basically a failed Oblivion clone, there isn’t much that it can offer the western RPG crowd. Developer Reality Pump is looking to expand on its one strength, the inclusion of multiplayer, by offering two new multiplayer expansion packs soon. Among other things, the new expansions will open up new co-op missions, improved PvP modes, and introduce new weapons. Each expansion will offer 10 more hours of gameplay, with the first one being due out in March and the second sometime in April. If you’re brave enough to play through them, each pack will put you back the sum of 600 Microsoft Points, or $7.50. Hit the jump for the full press release and 4 high-res screen shots.

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