Author Archive
Quarter Suck: Gauntlet Legends

The year is 1998. A quiet little hamlet by the name of Raccoon City is having a bit of a zombie problem, a young boy in a faraway land becomes friends with a magical fairy who isn’t quite as helpful as she thinks she is, and a certain theoretical physicist is wishing he had chosen a less stressful career (perhaps space marine?). All of this pales in comparison to the epidemic that swept arcades across the nation, however: a group of adventurer’s were cutting a swath of destruction through hordes of goblins, and, worst of all, the yellow wizard needed food…badly!
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Untitled Column Thing…?

Well, here it is: Friday. That makes me about a full day late on my Thursday window that I was shooting for this week. Add to that the fact that the premise of this column is still gestating in my mind-womb (can’t unread it! It’s in your brain now! Mwahahaha!). No worries, though. Next week, a fully formed article with a title that maybe won’t suck furiously will await your gentle gaze. Oh, you are a lucky bunch of literate people, you are! For now, let’s have a chat about Killzone 2, shall we?
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Mass Effect 2 teaser
Omigodomigomigodomigod! *ahem*…So, anybody a Mass Effect fan? I mean, I dabble. Played through it once or twice…then 18 more times. Oh lordy, I’ve got the sickness!
3 commentsDSi Launches in the US April 5th

Get ready, America! Nintendo is getting ready to shove another iteration of their stupid-popular handheld down your already-stuffed gullet come April 5th. Retailing for $169.99, the DSi will include two 0.3 megapixel cameras, better speakers, flash card support, and a complete absence of a GBA slot.
The question is, do we really need this?
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Ultimate Alliance 2 looks great, warms souls
To celebrate how far behind I am in the news cycle, behold the trailer for Ultimate Alliance 2! If you’re like me, you’ve been waiting for this game since the end of the first one. Anyway, just a little quick post for now. Expect some meatier bits later.
No commentsStar Wars: The Old Republic officially announced

Gee, bet no one figured that the super-secret project from Bioware, Lucasarts, and EA was going to be a new Star Wars MMO, huh? Talk about coming out of left field! Not much is known about SWTOR (which has to be pronounced something like “swa-tor”, right?), but here’s what we do know (one possible spoiler ahead, so tread carefully):
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Game Realeases: 10/19-10/25

So, if you happen to be a fan of those video game contraptions the kids love so much these days, this week is going to reach right into your pocket and make off with your wallet with the quickness: Fable 2, Far Cry 2, Spider-Man: Web of Shadows, and Legendary. If you’re a PS3 owner, Bioshock, Eternal Sonata, and Rock Band 2 are all finally available for Sony’s black box. And don’t even get me started on Build-a-Bear Workshop: A Friend Fur All Seasons.
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Mirror’s Edge Time Trial Trailer
Whoa. Mirror’s Edge just climbed up a few spots on the holiday must-have list. Footage of the time trial mode would’ve been enough by itself, but seeing Sebastien Foucan fly around Stockholm adds that extra little flair. Astute viewers will recognize Sebastien from the free-running chase at the beginning of Casino Royale, which I blame for any bone I may break in the future whilst trying to be a ninja.
Ahem…anyway, Mirror’s Edge comes out November 13th for the 360 and PS3.
2 commentsReview: The Force Unleashed (360)

The Force Unleashed is one of the best Star Wars stories in recent memory, delivering a better developed plot and cast of characters than any of the three prequel movies. The concept of Darth Vader raising and training a secret apprentice that will one day help him overthrow Emperor Palpatine is a great concept that’s used to its fullest throughout the course of the game. Unfortunately, the actual gameplay in TFU is pretty good at best and glitchy and broken at worst.
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Best Genesis Games…Ever?
Continuing a proud tradition of posting other people’s hard work and passing it off as my own, here are the top 20 Genesis games (according to Screwattack, obviously). I was a Nintendo kid, during the days of the only console rivalry that ever really mattered, so I’ve only played a few of these. The top 10 are after the jump.
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