Well, we got nothing. No new releases this week. Bah humbug.
So…
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Mission Log Number Twelve Eighteen

It is cold and dark here. My body aches, my senses fail me. My nipples have turned to icicles this past week. Winter, you are a cold, harsh, unrelenting bitch.

I have been shunned from the outside world. The men, women and children around me point and laugh at the terrible misfortune that has befallen me. The internet, it calls to me, but escapes my grasp ever since it went down sometime yesterday.

Hopefully, this message will reach somebody…anybody. For the love of Zeus, whoever gets this message, send food, supplies, women, perhaps some quality games this month; I fear for my life.

In case I don’t make it, I know I must fulfill my purpose here. Continue, comrades…

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EXTRA, EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

PLAYSTATION 3 PLAYERS GET SERVED AWESOME-SAUCE LEFTOVERS

I suppose it’s better late than never, but after two months of the PC and 360 October 10th launch, EA has finally cranked out The Orange Box on PS3 this December 11th. Epic Games follows suit by porting BlackSite: Area 51 & Unreal Tournament III this week, despite Midway’s announcement to expect the games next year.

Well, not much else to see or talk about here, folks, move along. I’ll be over here yawning if you need me.

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EXTRA, EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

CRAPTASTIC WEEK FOR GAMING FOLLOWS NON-DENOMINATIONAL HOLIDAY INVOLVING GROSS DISPLAYS OF GLUTTONY AND DECEASED WINGED ANIMALS

Last week, the gaming industry dished out one fine platter of headliners in an attempt to pry gamers away from their Thanksgiving-day shenanigans. This week, though, we’ve been served a meager helping of lackluster leftovers even the family dog couldn’t stomach.

The only thing that looks even remotely interesting is the DS title with the sumptuous, intergalactic polyhedrons called Geometry Wars: Galaxies, which was released last week on Wii anyway. Also, at this point, Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords ceases to amaze as it seems like Sierra Entertainment won’t ever stop porting it to other consoles. Oh…and…uh….Boogie is out again with a 3D glasses-enabled DS version this week……….

What’s more to ignore are three new games that arrive Monday on Wii’s Virtual Console: Double Dribble (500 points), Vegas Stakes (800 points) and Ecco Jr. (800 points). Xbox Live Arcade hails to Atari’s Asteroids and Asteroids Deluxe, which are bundled into one keen bulging package (400 points) this Wednesday.

Look at the lot, commence with the comments, display your disapproval (awe at almost-alliterations).

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Another week, another amazing line-up coming atcha’ live.

Once again, it is difficult to pick a single stand-out game to headline this MEGAMonday. As the big three duke it out for superiority in the coming holiday season, you should notice that platform-exclusive titles are running rampant this week, including Mass Effect, Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, Time Crisis 4, Mario Party DS and FFXII: Revenant Wings. While it’s uncertain whether its PS3 counterpart will arrive before the end of the year, Epic’s FPS Unreal Tournament III arrives for the PC too.

‘Tis the season for peripheral bundled games, I guess. Rock Band will be sold alongside a guitar, mic and drum kit accessories for $169.99 on 360 and PS3. Link’s Crossbow Training, which tests your skill at aiming at numerous Gorons’ crotches, is included with the Wii Zapper while retailing at $19.99. Also of note this Wednesday is 3rd Space Incursion, a PC game that comes bundled with the 3rd Space FPS Vest (a force-feedback vest pictured below) and a 3rd Space-enabled version of Call of Duty II.

Whatcha’ gettin’ this week, doc?

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Call this week what you will: splendiferous, top-drawer, the crème de la crème, the cream of the pants; call it all of these and more. The gaming industry does not disappoint this month, but I digress, after the smoke has cleared, gamers everywhere shall weep over empty wallets this holiday season.

It’s impossible to pick a headliner this week with the likes of Super Mario Galaxy, Soldier of Fortune, Kane & Lynch: Dead Men, Asassin’s Creed, Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles, Contra 4 and Crysis coming out this week. So far, we’ve seen half of our most anticipated games left for 2007 come within the opening weeks of November.

While not pictured, Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock will be released on both PC and Mac this Tuesday.

And the so the burning question: what’s making your nipples erect this week?

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Despite pressure from the gaming industry for some sort of tentative release date for Grand Theft Auto IV, Take-Two Interactive chairman Strauss Zelnick still refuses to commit. GTA IV still stands stagnant as one of the several highly anticipated games that have been delayed from a holiday ‘07 to an early ‘08 release.

If you can recall, Grand Theft Auto IV was originally slated for a November release on PS3 and Xbox 360 and that back in August, Rockstar told Take-Two about the team hitting “developmental roadblocks”. GTA IV, which is currently scheduled for an eventful Q1 2008 release, will likely compete for the spotlight next year with Mercenaries 2, Splinter Cell: Conviction, and Super Smash Bros Brawl.

At a recent North American financial services conference, Zelnick explains why humility slow and steady wins the race.

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Remember, remember the Fifth of November,

The MEGAMonday feature and plot,

I know of no reason

Why MEGAMonday feature

Should ever be forgot.

Call of Duty 4, Call of Duty 4, t’was their intent

To headline this week as a game; God-sent.

Three-score other games this week will blow

To prove old November will be quite a show;

By masterledz’s providence he shall await

For Assassin’s Creed, Crysis, Rock Band, to date.

Holloa gamers, holloa gamers, Gears of War on PC.

Holloa gamers, holloa gamers, Bladestorm sucks, just see!

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Forgive the late post for MEGAMonday, yours truly has been busy marveling the Video Games Live show in Columbia, Missouri this past Sunday and writing a review for your pleasure. A MEGATONik video segment showcasing the festivities will be posted in due time, but first, a note about new releases this week…

It’s quite uncommon for the gaming industry to put out a new release with a retail street date set for the weekend. However, the public was more than ready and willing to get up off the couch this past Sunday, October 28 to pick up Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock for either Xbox 360, Wii, PS3 or PS2.

Perhaps this move might overshadow any other anticipated games coming out this week. Nonetheless, as we enter the month of November, remind yourself that the best is yet to come.

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To be honest, this week’s post should be renamed MEGATuesday New Releases with the flood of games on shelves tomorrow. So as you’re sitting there reading, listening to Loverboy’s “Working for the Weekend” this Monday afternoon, hit the jump to sneak a peek for what’s on tap this week.

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