As a gamer, my mind often trails off into a dream world populated with my favorite video game characters. Sometimes I’m brushing blades against Ganondorf on the fields of Hyrule; sometimes I’m barreling through loop-the-loops in pursuit of Dr. Robotnik; sometimes I’m just spending some quality time with Sheena from Tales of Symphonia (and who could blame me?)

There are times, though, that my fantasies become more elaborate. Any time that I’m forced to spend several hours in a car, or when I have to mow the lawn, or if I had to perform open-heart surgery. It’s times like these that have made me speculate on many occasions, “if aliens were to attack my beloved Earth, what video game characters would I assemble to combat them?” These are the musings that bring you this article. Hit the jump to find out which characters made the cut and what weapons they’ll be issued in the battle against the extra-terrestrial menace!

1. Fox McCloud (Star Fox)
Weapon of choice: Jehuty
Naturally, the first line of defense against the alien threat will be just outside of Earth’s atmosphere. Fox McCloud has proven himself capable of aerial combat several times over, not to mention his experience in exterminating alien life forms like Andross. Initially, I figured that the Star Fox team’s Great Fox and fleet of Arwings would be enough of a threat to take down our foes from beyond the stars. But why limit them to simple crafts that can do no more than shoot directly forward and perform the occasional barrel roll? Jehuty of Zone of the Enders fame fits the bill with much more finesse, pizazz and firepower than a simple Arwing ever could. For bonus points, the other members of the Star Fox team could take control of one of the other myriad of mechs from Zone of the Enders or even Metal Gear Rex and/or Ray. Basically, I just want to see a bunch of anthropomorphic animals piloting robots designed by Hideo Kojima.

2. Arthas Menethil (Warcraft 3)
Weapon of choice: Scourge, Frostmourne
If, heaven forbid, the fight for the freedom of Earth should become terrestrial, we’ll need soldiers. A lot of soldiers. It is for this reason and this reason alone that I would ever entrust my well-being to a zombie. Of course, any fan of Warcraft lore will know that Arthas Menethil is currently imbued with the spirit of the Lich King, who not only created the Undead but also has the power to control them telepathically (except for, of course, the Forsaken, who have a will of their own). While it might be risky to trust the fate of humanity to such an evil being, I imagine that the Lich King would be awfully jealous if somebody else swooped down and enslaved humanity. Aside from the scourge he would command, the magical power that Arthas wields could be of great benefit against Alien’s technology as they will likely not have encountered it before and thusly would have little knowledge of how to defend themselves.

3. Dr. Robotnik (Sonic the Hedgehog)
Weapon of choice: Robot horde, Death egg
Dr. Ivo Robotnik, or Eggman as he’s become known over the last few years, could be a huge asset to Earth’s forces. Let’s just look at the facts: He has countless robotic minions that are apparently able to damage the average hedgehog just by touching him AND he has not one, but two space stations; the Death Egg from Sonic 3 and the ARK from Sonic Adventure 2. The space stations alone are enough to make Robotnik the go-to guy for planetary defense, especially since at least one of those stations has the ability to blow huge chunks out of the moon.

4. Gordon Freeman (Half-Life)
Weapon of choice: Gravity Gun, Portal Gun
Every army needs a few good soldiers. I picture Gordon Freeman with the Gravity Gun in one hand and the Portal Gun in the other, teleporting around the battlefield and hurling anything heavy at the Alien forces. As a bonus, Gordon already has already gone head-to-head with extranormal forces in the form of headcrabs. He should have no problem fending off the alien menace.

5. Samus Aran (Metroid)
Weapon of choice: Power Suit, Gunship

Not only is Samus equipped head to toe with body armor that not only offers protection against both the harsh reaches of space and Space Pirate blasters, but she has had tons of experience with creatures from beyond the stars. She was raised by the Chozo, an ancient alien race that was wiped out by the Space Pirates, another alien race that seems to live for nothing more than to irritate Metroid’s heroine. Regardless, it’s obvious that Samus would be a capable soldier, the only problem I foresee with using her is that most planets that she fights on have a tendency to blow up with only about a minute of warning time.

6. Master Chief (Halo)
Weapon of choice: BFG

One of gaming’s biggest badasses with one of gaming’s most badass guns? Yes, please. Not only do I wish to enroll the Chief in my army, I would kill to see a Halo/Doom crossover game. At any rate, Master Chief has proven himself worthy of standing in the ranks of Earth’s defense force three times over, each time taking on hordes of big, bad aliens with big, bad guns. While we’re bringing the Halo universe into my campaign, I might as well give our planet its own Halo installation. After all, if we can’t have our planet, why should they? It’s the perfect last resort.

7. Kirby (Kirby’s Adventure)
Weapon of choice: The enemy

Kirby is the perfect soldier: fast, powerful, adaptable, and eager to please. Like many of the other characters in this list, Kirby has had his share of battles against nonhuman foes… of course, in his case that’s probably to be expected seeing as how he hails from the distant planet of Pop Star. His unique ability to take on the traits of his enemies could be useful in two ways. On the one hand, he’d be able to send anything the enemy threw at him back at them. On the other, he could theoretically be examined by Earth’s top scientists while retaining the Aliens’ traits to possibly uncover some sort of weakness. As if all this weren’t enough, Kirby has the amazing ability to restore himself back to full health simply be consuming a tomato, which, while they may be scarce on Pop Star, are rather commonplace here on Earth.

8. Andy (Advance Wars: Dual Strike)
Weapon of choice: Tactics, a wrench I guess

Every army needs a tactician and it’s for this reason that I want Advance Wars’ Andy to take the helm in bringing the Alien menace to justice. Although he’s had little experience dealing with extra terrestrials, he’s pressed through numerous battles with a smile on his face… or maybe the game’s developers just didn’t want to draw an angry sprite for him. Still, it would be paramount to bring Andy’s Ender-like tactical expertise to the war effort–otherwise the Earth’s forces would be nothing more than a chicken without a head… for you see, if you give this chicken its head it becomes more deadly than you can possibly imagine!

9. the Elite Beat Agents (Elite Beat Agents)
Weapon of choice: Music

Caring, compassionate, and always there when you need them, the Elite Beat Agents have exactly the qualifications to keep morale up during the dark days of war. If their uncanny ability to turn any situation around and wizard-like powers to tap in time with the music isn’t enough for you, look no further than the final song of Elite Beat Agents, wherein the Agents free themselves from being turned to stone and subsequently destroy an entire army of Alien robot things with the power of music.

So, there you have it: the perfect army. Did I leave anybody out? Are there any glaring holes in my strategy? Would this army also be sufficient to protect me in a zombie invasion, too? Be sure to leave comments and check out the forums for discussion on this and other scholarly topics!