Dec 5
MEGATONik’s 10 games parents should avoid getting their children this Christmas
After reading US Prosecutor Kym Worthy’s list for the Detroit News about which games parents should avoid getting their children this Christmas, Kevin Cortez and I could not help but put together a revised list of games for parents to avoid at all costs this holiday season. Our list will be following the same format as Worthy’s, including the title of the game along with a witty snippet of information about each game.
Hit the jump for our marvelous attempt at creating a life-line for gaming confused parents, aligned in no particular order.
EA Playground
“Its Wikipedia entry is only three sentences long.”Transformers: The Game
“Multiplatform megablockbuster maimed by meaningless mung.”Pokemon Battle Revolution
“Kevin Cortez: ‘Bitch, I like Pokemon.’ ”Zoo Hospital
“Enjoy the process of shoving thermometers up various panda bear asses.”John Deere: Harvest in the Heartland
“Milking teets was never this unenjoyable. Utter sh*t.”Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
“Is Alba in this? No? Then f*ck it.”Chicken Shoot
“Avoid it like SARS.”Anubis II
“The 2 girls 1 cup of video games.”Wiffleball
“This game glamorizes sodomy.”Super Mario Galaxy
“LOL internet controversy.”
And there you have it, our 10 games for parents to avoid like the plague this holiday season. All of these games, save perhaps the last one, are complete and utter crap. Trust us, we know gaming.
8 Comments so far
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LOL at child leashes
Yaris
“It’ll make you shred your driver’s license”
I agree with BFeld, except that would require the parent knows how to download games onto his or her child’s XBox 360.
Pictures where no one is looking toward the camera creep me out. What is this? Witness protection? Turn around you freaks.
Wouldn’t you want to f*ck the one with Jessica Alba instead of the other way around?